Thursday, June 11, 2009 AT 1:13 PM
Worst day ever
Today's the worst day in my entire secondary school life. Now, I'm regretting that I even came for practise today. I should have 'overslept' like Priscilla, and not come. Anyway... I reached the String Room by 8.45am. Then I waited with some others and I sat down until Chi Ling and Jia Wen came. Then we went into the room after someone opened the door, and after our instruments are tuned, Mr Lim taught the junior violist and junior violinist, while the seniors all sat together in sectional groups and practised "Frippery number 2 and Dance of Iscariot".
At about 10.30am, the junior violinist could go home already, while junior violist were released at 10.40am. Then I was begging Samantha to stay back to listen to accompany me and listen to the seniors playing the pieces. But she didn't stay back even after I begged, so... she went first, and I saw Chi Ling, so I stayed with her to listen after she kept her cello. Then halfway through the practise, Mr Lim saw Chi Ling and told her to join the orchestra and perform the two songs with the full orchestra. She's so lucky.. I'm really envious, and jealous too. So I sat there for 1 and 1/2h alone, while Chi Ling had fun performing with the orchestra. Then that Jia Xuan go and tell me that the secondary one junior violinist called me a *ahem ahem*. But whatever, I don't give a damn, I just roll my eyes at him and listen to the performance. After that... I waited for Chi Ling to get the scores and I went out of the school with her. I wanted to eat lunch in Compass Point but my mum already bought lunch for me, so I had to go home by myself.
On the way to the bus stop... I was seriously emo-ing. I'm upset. I know, I'm just a secondary one, I don't even know how to play the basics properly. But I'm just.... "bu gan xin". Why Chi Ling can join? And I can't? I know I'm not as good as her, but really. I'm really sad. That time, last Tuesday, Teng Da senior tried to teach us Frippery number 2, but we made him vomit blood instead. But.... I believe I can do it better after I practise. I believe I can. Never mind, it's just the worst day today. I regretted coming for CCA practise, if I didn't, maybe I won't feel so... frustrated and really... sad now. I think... I'm going to skip CCA practise tomorrow. I can't bring myself to look at Mr Lim, Chi Ling, or any other string members. Who knows, I might just quit after CT2 when I fail Geography and History. Hey, it might be a good thing! I won't be suffering this type of things after I quit. Unreasonable, stupid matters that make my heart ache. I still do enjoy NCSO, but really, after today... I still do, but there's this doubt in me. The doubt whether I can even join after this year. Although Mr Lim said we played pretty well today... I doubt it. And who knows, maybe even if I pass, I might get kicked out. But you know, I don't care anymore. The world is unfair. Now, I'm going for practise, just for the sake of going. Sad right? Whatever.
I have totally gave up on my viola today. You might think that I'm giving up for just this little setback, but it really means alot to me. Haha, and anyone from NCSO who read this, please don't go to practise tomorrow, and say things like "Let Vivian play can?" I will kill anyone who does that, like that girl who did today. Today, 11 June 09, marks the day when I gave up on my viola, and I really apologise to people who taught me the viola, and let me have an experience, thank you very much... It's the end today. Just... give it up Vivian, give it up.
Loves,
Vivianne
At about 10.30am, the junior violinist could go home already, while junior violist were released at 10.40am. Then I was begging Samantha to stay back to listen to accompany me and listen to the seniors playing the pieces. But she didn't stay back even after I begged, so... she went first, and I saw Chi Ling, so I stayed with her to listen after she kept her cello. Then halfway through the practise, Mr Lim saw Chi Ling and told her to join the orchestra and perform the two songs with the full orchestra. She's so lucky.. I'm really envious, and jealous too. So I sat there for 1 and 1/2h alone, while Chi Ling had fun performing with the orchestra. Then that Jia Xuan go and tell me that the secondary one junior violinist called me a *ahem ahem*. But whatever, I don't give a damn, I just roll my eyes at him and listen to the performance. After that... I waited for Chi Ling to get the scores and I went out of the school with her. I wanted to eat lunch in Compass Point but my mum already bought lunch for me, so I had to go home by myself.
On the way to the bus stop... I was seriously emo-ing. I'm upset. I know, I'm just a secondary one, I don't even know how to play the basics properly. But I'm just.... "bu gan xin". Why Chi Ling can join? And I can't? I know I'm not as good as her, but really. I'm really sad. That time, last Tuesday, Teng Da senior tried to teach us Frippery number 2, but we made him vomit blood instead. But.... I believe I can do it better after I practise. I believe I can. Never mind, it's just the worst day today. I regretted coming for CCA practise, if I didn't, maybe I won't feel so... frustrated and really... sad now. I think... I'm going to skip CCA practise tomorrow. I can't bring myself to look at Mr Lim, Chi Ling, or any other string members. Who knows, I might just quit after CT2 when I fail Geography and History. Hey, it might be a good thing! I won't be suffering this type of things after I quit. Unreasonable, stupid matters that make my heart ache. I still do enjoy NCSO, but really, after today... I still do, but there's this doubt in me. The doubt whether I can even join after this year. Although Mr Lim said we played pretty well today... I doubt it. And who knows, maybe even if I pass, I might get kicked out. But you know, I don't care anymore. The world is unfair. Now, I'm going for practise, just for the sake of going. Sad right? Whatever.
I have totally gave up on my viola today. You might think that I'm giving up for just this little setback, but it really means alot to me. Haha, and anyone from NCSO who read this, please don't go to practise tomorrow, and say things like "Let Vivian play can?" I will kill anyone who does that, like that girl who did today. Today, 11 June 09, marks the day when I gave up on my viola, and I really apologise to people who taught me the viola, and let me have an experience, thank you very much... It's the end today. Just... give it up Vivian, give it up.
Loves,
Vivianne