It ain't because of you. I want to be your friend. I really want to. Cause ya, those times we chat like crazy on MSN and in school. But somehow since he came into the picture... I still wanted to be friends with you but since that day he came to NCHS, everything kinda screwed up. I know, that he wanted to come himself. But there's this barrier over here that kinda stopped me. Yes I know that quiz. That's what I did. That's what you did too. I know, we both tried. I didn't say like "Oh I tried to hard but she didnt!" No. Both of us did. To me it's him who's distracting me.

First thing I want to say is. It's partly my part. Partly your fault. But to me, I know maybe you'll pity him or whatever. But seriously, that post of his on facebook, totally broke my last straw. And, you yourself have many friends who are better than me too. I do too, yes. But if this matter happens to every friend we have, it's like having no friends at all. (Okay I'm crapping again)

I have to say... Actually about those hate posts. I wanted it to direct at him. But somehow, I don't dare, or bear to blame it on him cause, he was my brother, was my classmate and friend. But anyway. I really don't care about him now. In that facebook note of his, he said "I'm not so close to so on and so on." Okay. So he said he's not close to me. But I treated him like one of my best friends. And that's what he said in the end. That jerk.

I'm not lacking of friends too. Once again. Those flaws. Actually it's only that you kinda flirt alot, and abit too girly. Please don't get offended. Yes I know I'm very selfish and thoughtless, and very childish. like jerk said. I won't want to talk to him anymore. Seriously, no offense to you and your friends but, I'm damn freaking annoyed at your friend Glenda. Okay I know she's standing up for you but, it's kinda too much to talk so much when she doesn't know the full story. Okay I get she's trying to cheer you up and stuff. Okay nevermind.

You know, what is wrong with me is that, I get easily influenced by what the others say. Like for example A tells me she likes this guy, but you still flirt with him, or maybe talk alot to him, the next day though I told you through MSN. Then when A sees it and becomes emo, I kinda... yea. And mm, I noticed. The links. Of me in your blog. I noticed it. Anyway... Yes I know I introduced you to him. And him. 2 people. But I'm kinda selfish and childish. I'll think you're trying to snatch them from me. I know your friends say things like "She don't snatches friends, she get them through her heart..." blah blah blah blah whatever. But because I'm childish, I don't think of it that way. I mean, your good friends like Jas ( I think ), then I just add her on MSN, then she start to talk to me more than you, you'll be very jealous and angry and think that I snatch her away from you right?

But I don't think that'll happen though. Cause maybe you treat her better than I treated my friends.maybe. OH DARN BUT I CANNOT STAND IT WHEN MY FRIENDS SCOLD ME AND STAND UP FOR YOU. That's just plain stupid and wrong. To me is that, stand up for your own friends, no matter they're right or wrong, cause they have their own reasons to do what they did. I can't totally express my feelings now. Cause I'm kinda tired. Maybe next time, I'll type a full post about this.

Anyway. You don't need to beg for my forgiveness!!! This may sound stupid to you but. Yea I heard you're getting guitar lessons. This is plain ridiculous but somehow I think after you learn, you'll have alot of topic to talk to WeiQi then he'll ignore me and stuff. I'm kinda being stupidly sensitive but, that's how I think. I typed to darn much but this posts makes no sense at all. T_T

We could go back as friends. But maybe it'll need some time for you and me to break the wall towards each other. Some people. It's like, under other people's influence that I dislike you. But now it's like they're friends with you, but... for me towards you, no. Sorry for everything I done to hurt all of you. I apologize that my friend went to tag at your blog, about me and you, but she's just trying to stand up for me, cause... yea she's my friend. Your friend called 'Q'? Haha, she/he gave me a good impression in her/his tag on 12 september. True true, yea.

Please know that... I don't hate you. If I did, I wouldn't keep asking myself whether to block or unblock you, I would delete you straight off my contact list. I did that to him. Yea, a few years later after losing contact I may regret, but now, I'm just very happy. I mean, regarding him, not you. I guess.. that's all I can think of now. I unblocked you. Maybe we can talk about this tomorrow. But tomorrow I may not give you straight replies and all, please understand cause, these few days my brain isn't working very well at all. And... yea thanks again, I childishly blocked you, you know it, but you didn't get pissed off, you didn't block me, you didn't delete me. Thanks, and please remember that, everytime I say I hate you, it has to be directed at someone else, not you, cause... I don't know but, I'll never really mean what bad things I say about you.


There's 1001 words above. Alot more than what you posted, excluding the lyrics. Okay I'm lame. But... in these 1001 words.. Most of them a crap. But put them together with your heart... please, if you know me well enough, if I was your real friend, you should know what I'm really trying to say. I'm not very good with words.If you don't get me... It's okay.