The other one. In my MSN contact list and handphone contact list, also in facebook, I feel neutral, nothing much, cause we weren't close anyway. Though we fought. But when I visit his blog, like pang. He was a good friend, always made my day, why did I let my emotions control me.

I realized that alot of the misunderstandings and troubles of me and my friends, those 3, are like, because of me, and also her. I shouldn't just throw away my friends cause of her. Just isn't worth it, I wish I could rewind time.

Last time where I used to SMS him and crap. That day when he sent me such a long happy birthday SMS, just, so very touching, cried myself to sleep that night, thanking god for letting me have such a good friend and everything.

And another person. Those days where I came online and he said hi first, and I crapped about my not-starting-a-conversation-first campaign, where I talked about facebook with him, where we used to talked on the stupid facebook chatlog.

Man I missed those times. The first he, the one who is not in my list except for facebook, I don't talk to him anymore. The second he, he did talk to me once in a blue moon, once to say happy new year, did he know how happy I was when he said happy new year to me? But I... pretended to be neutral, and just said bye, cause of my stupid pride.

I wish time could go back. To last last year. When I was P6. In rosyth. I should've gone to Bowen with Deanna. Maybe if I went to Bowen, I won't know my NCHS friends, but I wouldn't have been in this situation with them.

When I said I should not come to NCHS in 2009 when I was secondary one, acceptable cause it's only the first year I graduated. From now on when I said I shouldn't come to NCHS, it's not acceptable anymore, cause it's already over, and deemed as attention seeking.

Look at my MSN list, cursed myself, told myself I should not have known that stupid person. Look at my seniors' list, told myself how much I wish I could crap with you again, where you always told me how great your GF was, and I asked you for tips about facebook games.

But it's too late now. Even when I type this post, nobody knows what I'm talking about except for those two, but they don't even come to my blog, I wasn't that important to them like they were to me. Maybe only the cause would understand.

I sound ridiculous. I am ridiculous. I don't give a damn about chinese homework anymore. That teacher can scold me for all I care, FML. I want to turn back time. I want to go back to those times. I want to SMS him and make that person anxious, and MSN another him about my so called crappy campaign.

Can you believe it. Even when my favourite-est person in the world talked to me today, I still, am emo and everything cause of those two people. If not I'll be hypering and telling everyone that my favourite-est person talked to me today.

I'm not going to post anymore for today and tomorrow, I hope.

I want my NingZhen. NingZhen, if you see this, when I don't crap to you tomorrow, please don't mind or anything k, I just, can't help it.